In the balance.

We spend too much time trying to balance everything. I realized that this past week. We put so much pressure on ourselves and our families to have “balance”.

Last week Martin flew to the Uk and we currently are not sure when he will be back. So I am home with the kids, running the household, doing school runs and running the charity. Before he left I was anxious about how I was going to cope. With all of my responsibilities was I capable and strong enough to also carry his daily input too?

This week I discovered the answer is a resounding “YES”. Yes I am capable. Yes I am strong. Yes I am enough. Yes I do have the energy. Yes I do have the capacity.

Why was I even questioning it in the first place?

Here’s why… the pressure of “balance”. People were questioning me “how will you cope?”, “what about the early mornings?”, “isn’t it going to be so hard on you to juggle everything?”. All the questions from so many people had me doubting myself, doubting who Divine Love has ordained me to be. What a crock of you know what!!!

Of course I am able, because Love makes me able. For the past 2 years I have discovered just how able I am.

So here I am, just dropped the kids at school at 7am, sitting in Starbucks drinking a chai latte and feeling very proud of myself.

I have decided to reject the pressure of balance. I don’t have to carry it. My incredible Hope’s Anchor team is more than able to fill in where I can’t during this time. I can drop a spinning plate knowing that I have a support system who will gladly take over the spinning. I don’t have to walk the line between parenting and ministry, one day is all about the boys, the next day I am in the shelter for a couple of hours, and then the next day I’m getting my hair done. I’m not letting the fact the I can not do as much ministry right now be something that I feel guilty about. Right now things aren’t balanced, and that’s ok. Because without the pressure of balance I am finding freedom and peace.

I am learning that life isn’t always how you thought it would be. And that’s ok. Hold your dreams lightly up to the Father and left Him refine them. He may return them looking completely different, but know that His version is always so much better.