Fourteen.

He turned 14. FOUR-FREAKING-TEEN!!!!!!!Idont even know what’s going on with time these days. Has it sped up? This guy was a chubby little baby like last week.

I’m struggling to find the words to describe how that makes me feel. All I know for sure is that he is MY child. He is introverted and yet hysterically funny. He is incredibly intelligent and works hard at everything that he puts his hand to. His creativity is so beautiful. He is gently coming out from under so much heavy stuff and into a beautiful freedom and as his Mum it’s a joy to behold. Joseph Kheta I love you dearly, thank you for making me a Mummy, you will always be a ray of hope in my life.

She came to us late last night. Hobbling though the parking lot, covered head to toe in Norwegian scabies and very dirty.Last time I saw her I didn’t think she had much time left this side of heaven, and yet here she was as determined as ever.
She received her meal and sat down with us on the grass and
proceeded to change our lives.Contagious joy and faith spilled out of Cindy last night, wisdom and honesty hand in hand dancing into our ears and our hearts, reality checking our spirits at every turn as her words twirled and leaped in a beautiful dance choreographed specifically for each of our team members. Her joy becoming ours, her faith boosting ours, and her words making a direct path to the Father’s ears.The Holy Spirit filled our little circle of obedient hearts. A fierce tribe who earlier had asked the Father for a direct encounter with His love. And here was His answer to our cry, Cindy, a very sick and dirty homeless woman who was a living message of love from our heavenly Father.And right there, sitting on the grass, I was reminded of why I started this journey 12 years ago, and why I have not quit. For Cindy, for the Father, for such a time as this.#missionarylife #ministry #livingbyfaith #livinginafrica #homelessnothopeless #iseeyouiloveyou #unconditionallove #extravagantgrace #hopeforthesoul #FrontierChurch #frontierministries #Heartstringscommunityproject

The lightness.

Years ago I arrived in KwaZulu Natal. The country was in the middle of the AIDS and orphan crisis and I spent my days in rural communities playing with and teaching the children, providing sponsorship for the ones who were orphaned and loving the Gogos and aunties who were caring for them.I loved my times in the valley with the rural people, but there was a longing in my heart to be with ladies in the city. I was torn in 2. And eventually the calling to the streets of Durban and her inhabitants became my main focus.

For 12 years the sex workers and marginalised women of the streets of Durban have been my priority. It has been a journey of a bit of joy and lots of pain. A bit of light and lots of dark. For the past few months I have been focusing on my kids, but still having one foot in the ministry supporting where I have been able to, while trying to heal from some deep personal wounds.

It’s not been easy, but the Father has been so very kind and gracious and patient with me. He knows my heart and He knew that I have needed some time out of the darkness of the ministry to the sex workers. And although my heart has been torn, I have known and felt His guidance during this time.

He has placed the boys and I in a beautiful community and has returned me to ministry to the rural children. I never saw myself back in this kind of ministry. Even as I type this it makes me chuckle because its now very much out of my comfort zone. I mean sit me on a bed in a brothel talking to a sex worker while she puts a needle in her arm, or put me in a dark alleyway while young girls negotiate with potential clients and I am in my element. I know how to deal with those scenarios, for 12 years it’s been my life.

But put me in a Zulu crèche where no one speaks English and make me jump around singing like a crazy person and my comfort zone is so far away I can’t even see it anymore.

This Wednesday I went to the crèche as usual, dropped off the yummy meal that had been prepared for the children and teachers and I got down on my knees with the children and sang some songs. At the end they piled onto me all wanting a hug, and something lifted in my soul.

You see, I NEED ministry of light right now. I NEED joy. I have been living joyless for so many years now. I’ve forgotten how to have fun, how to relax, how to be silly. The darkness of ministry to the sex workers had me broken to an extent. I had experienced so much pain and trauma during those 12 years that my joy was gone. The Father knew that during my time of healing I NEED to not be in the dark places so much. Not that I have totally separated myself from the city side of the ministry, but I have distanced myself for my own healing.

The distancing has been difficult at times, I miss seeing my precious ladies on a regular basis, but there is an incredible team that I know is loving them really well, and that has made the transition into this second phase of ministry that much easier for me. There’s so much happening in the charity right now, and a lot of it is behind the scenes and not quite reading to be shared yet, but it’s really exciting and my prayers from the past 12 years for our ladies are being answered, I want to pour it all out right now, but I can’t jump ahead of the Spirit, so all I can say is that I am so so SO excited.

If you would like to give financially to support us as a family as I continue the work I have been called to please do so via HSBC 40-36-22 91808885 PayPal at downseyluff@aol.com or email lindsey.toms57@gmail.com to set up regular giving.

Thank you.

We love and appreciate you so much.

Blessings

Vash and the boys xxxx