What made me smile.

The highlight of this year was my parents coming to visit. No one knows me like my mum and dad do. They know my heart, my calling and my passion better than anyone. They understand my gifts and my downfalls. They love me unconditionally and their guidance and love for me really have kept me going this year.One of the favorite most exciting parts of their trip here was going to purchase a car for the boys and I. We had been without a vehicle for months and it was making life and ministry very difficult. Before coming over they did a fundraiser and managed to raise enough money to buy a great car.

So many of you supported the fundraiser by donating and by sharing the posts on social media. We are beyond thankful to you all. What a blessing this car has already been to us as a family.

Another blessing was having the opportunity to let my parents get to know the people who are in my life. Friends invited us all over for meals, friends bought meal to us to share all together, friends invited my parents and I to join them on outreach ministry and invited us to go and spend time with their charities. Friends made so much effort and took time to make my parents feel so welcomed and loved. And these friends assured my parents that they have me and the boys hemmed in by their love and friendship.

What a blessing it was to have them here. We were incredibly sad to say good bye, but there is such a great anticipation for the coming year that we have managed to put the sadness aside.

And just one more thing that has taken my mind of the sadness of being away from family is this…One of my precious precious friends was married this past saturday. Why is this so significant? Well this stunning bride was one of the ladies that we cared for through our ministry. I met S at the lowest point of her life, sleeping rough, addicted and so broken. Over time we built a beautiful relationship and encouraged her that she can walk in freedom. We prayed with her, held her, fed her, cried with her, and now we REJOICE with her. I look at the life that she is now living and my heart is overflowing with love and joy and pride. Her life has been transformed and she is now starting her own charity caring for women like herself. Yesterday she married her wonderful husband. Every time I look at her wedding photos I cry, so much joy. Her strength is an example to use all. This photo here makes all the pain that was endured in ministry so very worth it. To see S walking in her freedom is EVERYTHING to me. This is why I refuse to do this ministry half hearted. Its all or nothing. I will continue to fight for the others who have not yet found freedom.

New and Glorious.

I’m not gonna lie, 2019 has been a year of extreme turmoil. I have NEVER been this broken. I have NEVER been taken so low. And yet here I am, closing the year with my precious sons and some dear friends.I’m a little OCD when it comes to Christmas, it’s pretty much the only thing that I am OCD about. I want everything to be perfect for my family. I want the perfect tree, the perfect amount of fairy lights, the perfect ornaments in the perfect location on the tree. I want to bake, to fill my home with the smells of cinnamon, cookies and gingerbread. I want squeals of joy and carols playing and a cracking fire. I REALLY want snow. I want to go late night Christmas shopping, Christmas markets with mulled wine and chestnuts. There are so many things in my mind that make up my dream Christmas.But I live in Africa and that means that Christmas is so so very different from my dream. I still battle. Even this morning, 2 days before Christmas day I woke up feeling a great sense of loss. Grieving over what I have lost this year.And then God…And then my little boy climbed into bed and snuggled into me and told me that I am an amazing mummy. My middle darling made me a cup of tea and my fantastic teenager sat on the end of my bed and talked at me for an hour about Star Wars. ­čśéThen my best friend gave me a massive pep talk, hugged me and told me how I am the strongest person they know and how 2020 is going to be the best year ever, but that will only happen if I get my butt out of bed.What I realized this morning is that it doesn’t matter that my Christmas tree is drooping because of the heat, or that my stupid dopey dog chewed my fairy lights so now I have no twinkles. It doesn’t matter that I can’t bake because I don’t have an oven, thankfully I have essential oils and a diffuser that are making my hot little home smell like gingerbread­čśé .This mornings squeals of joy were created by the little one being hosed with cold water as the veggies were watered. I have carols playing on my laptop as I clean and do laundry and later I will go get some mince pies and maybe make some mulled wine.As I look back over the past few weeks I have much to be thankful for. And even though the majority of the year has been awful, there has been moments of pure joy and healing.I am so incredibly thankful to those who have been lifting the children and I up, to those of you who made it possible for me to move out of the city and to those who helped me to have the most wonderful car for my family.I’m beyond thankful for those who have continued to believe in the calling on my life and who have stood by me and have held space for me during the really hard painful times, and who have rejoiced in the times of miracles and healing. To those who have remained even when I have not been at my best, those who have refused to walk away from the mess that I was sifting through, I love and appreciate you so so much.Thank you for being strong for me when I was beyond weak.I am eternally grateful to those of you who have financially supported us throughout this year. Your generosity and love is NEVER taken for granted. This coming year holds an incredibly exciting ministry journey. The Father is bringing together a tribe of warriors who are ready to fight and we are excited, and nervous and somewhat cautious. I am eager to walk into a new season as 2020 unfolds. I am more confident in my calling than ever and there is a renewed determination to walk in obedience to His voice. I know its not going to be easy, I know that there will be continued healing for me along the way, but I know that I am called and therefore He will equip and provide.My prayer for you all is for a joy filled Christmas season, for an anticipation of greatness for 2020, and for the fulfilment of long held dreams throughout the coming year.Be bold. Be brave. Be great.We love and appreciate you all.Christmas blessings.Vash and the boys.Xxx