This year has gone by so so fast. It’s been a weird one, and for the most of it I have felt like I’ve been in a whirlwind. Some days and weeks easier than others, and some of them have felt impossible, but here we are entering December pretty much in one piece.
So much has happened this year that I don’t really know how to sum it all up, there has been heart ache, physical pain and grief, but there have also been so many moments of pure joy and love and so many opportunities for growth and learning. Through it all I know that we have been carried by the Holy Spirt and the consistent presence of Love and as we round the year off I can honestly say that I have a peace that passes ALL understanding.
There have been moments when I haven’t known how to move forward and it has definitely been a time of laying it down and letting Love carry those things that I shouldn’t be carrying. I’m the first to admit that I have trust issues, and I’m the first to admit that I’m not always good at stepping back and taking a much needed breath, but this year has been a time of learning that I can not do any of this alone. I have been hedged in the whole time. Friends family and Love have carried me when I have been too weak to continue. I am THANKFUL for the care and support from so many during the good times and the bad and your love and support have bought me so much peace and strength, especially when I was at my lowest.
The boys have been amazing this whole year. They are incredibly caring and have supported me during my health issues and especially after my accident. They are so strong, caring and thoughtful and I am so so proud of them. Our life is not smooth sailing, they do not get to experience most of the things that their friends do, but not once have they complained or given me a hard time. They hold their heads high and keep pushing along with me. Their education is a major priority and I am happy to say that they are all passing their grades with flying colors. Joe and Jess are talking about their futures and what they would like to pursue. Joe is talking about joining the military and Jess wants to be a game ranger and join the anti poaching program to help protect our endangered animals. Both of them and really finding themselves and their passions and it’s exciting to watch. Hudson is just pure joy. He is so so bright and empathetic. He loves really well and has a heart for those who have been marginalized by society. He’s almost 9 and is going to change lives. My boys are INCREDIBLE.
The most surprising event this year was when my family gained twin girls. Amayah and Lumi came to stay with us almost 6 months ago when their Mama came to visit us at the baby home and shared with us how she has no family and she couldn’t care for her babies alone. She was scared to loose her babies but knew that she needed support. After a lot of prayer, advice seeking and encouragement from friends and family Thobile and I decided that we should co-parent the twins together and the girls moved in with me. Shortly after this step of faith Thobs found a job as a domestic worker and is loving it. She comes to visit the twins and takes them to stay by her when she has time off work. It’s a great situation although hard at times, Thobile and I are making it work and the girls are thriving. The boys are head over heels with them and are taking the big brother roll very seriously. The twins celebrate their 1st birthday on the 1st of December and we can’t believe it’s been half a year of having the honor of loving and nurturing them. Sadly Thobs can’t get away from work but we will be video calling so she can be here virtually.
eXpose HOPE has had an incredibly busy year. 16 ladies rescued from the sex industry, babies rescued from homeless shelters after being abandoned, girls going into rehab and healing so beautifully, new partnerships with other organizations, equal amounts of joy and heartbreak. And then there is our amazing team. These women blow me away with their fierce tenacity and love. They stand with me in the dark places and shine bright, they fight hard and pray continuously. I adore them and couldn’t do this work without them. They are an example of unconditional Love and I am proud to call each of them my friend.
Then there are these 2. Liza and Leanne are the bestest friends a girl could ask for. From spending hours in the hospital with me after my fall and looking after my children while I healed, to signing me up for Tinder as a “joke” these 2 have helped me through the year in a way few others could. I LOVE them. They keep me sane and drive me crazy at the same time and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Love knew that I needed these maniacs in my life and I will be forever grateful.
I’m already focused on 2023 and the dreams I have as we plow headlong into the new year. My health is a big focus for me and going into the new year I’m praying for full healing and strength. My fall and head injury really shook me up and has caused a bit of trauma physically and emotionally. I still get headaches and now whenever I hurt myself (I fell twice in one week 2 weeks ago) my body immediately shuts down and goes into shock which is quite a scary sensation. I’ve learnt how to process myself through the shock and out the other side, but I’d really like to ask you all for prayer in this area as the shock lasts for around an hour and is not fun to watch or experience. Please pray that my nervous system heals and the mental trauma subsides.
I think most of you know that I have a very complicated relationship with church. It’s no secret. And over the years one of my biggest prayers was to find a church with leadership who are as Christlike as possible. I’ve never fitted in to church. My calling is VERY messy and raw and uncomfortable for most. My life is very different from others and many are uncomfortable with how my life looks and who I am, and due to that my family really doesn’t fit into the conventional church setting. I’m not quiet about my beliefs and stance on many things that other Christians may not agree with or affirm, but I KNOW Jesus.I know the scripture and I KNOW Love’s heart for the people of this world who have been discarded by mainstream churches.
So when on of my best friends planted a church with her husband in one of the roughest parts of our city I KNEW that it was going to be our church home. Lee and Bron get it. They understand the heart of Love in the purest of ways. Our church is primarily made up of the homeless community, drug addicts and a smattering of sex workers. If I had a bus I would pick up all our sex worker friends and take them to our church because they can literally come as they are knowing that they will not be frowned upon or judged for their mini skirts and crop tops. OneCity Pinetown is a spiritual home, where we are all welcome and where our hearts and bodies are embraced. Lee and Bron have cultivated an environment of acceptance, accountability and unconditional Love and I am eternally grateful for their leadership and friendship. They lovingly hold me accountable and light a fire under my butt when I’m distracted or retreating into myself and away from the Father. They are my family and I Love them dearly.
As we end this bonkers year I am thankful for so much. For my precious children, for my family, my friends, for eXpose HOPE and the beautiful women and girls who we have the honor of loving, I am thankful for my team and their passion and the fact that they stick by me even when I desperately want to quit. I am thankful for my parents and their love for us and their constant prayers. I am thankful for my home, my vehicle, my pets and my bed 🤣But mostly I am thankful for Jesus, for His love and grace over my life. I’m thankful for the ongoing healing that is poured out over my life. I never thought I’d be a single mother, living in Africa, caring for 100’s of sex workers and victims of trafficking, and yet here I am getting it done with the beautiful support of so many.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your constant prayers and support, I can’t do this without you all. I pray that 2023 is a year of joy, abundance and the fulfillment of promises for you all. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
So much love and thanks from Vash, Joe, Jess, Hudson, Amayah and Lumi. 🖤
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